


Not Fun

by latethoughts



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Real Person Fiction, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Tom Hiddleston - Fandom, tom holland - Fandom
Genre: Acting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Multi, Professor Tom, Professor Tom Hiddleston, Sexual Themes, Short film, Smut, Smuttish, Student! reader, audition, collegeAU, mature - Freeform, play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-04 01:10:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17294825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/latethoughts/pseuds/latethoughts
Summary: Working on a film with your best friend Tom Holland and your accidental crush Hiddleston causes some feelings to arise and some feelings to blunder.





	1. Pact

You had made a pact with Tom the day he first saw you cry. You were 16, and sobbing just outside of the school gates. You weren't very close with Tom but he was still a nice person to be around.

"Hey, what's wrong?" His concerned eyes studied your puffy face.

"Nothing. I'm good. I'm good. I just uh-I just broke up with Brady,"

Tom knew Brady. Everyone in school did, he was a massive tool and he used himself well. No one had the heart to tell you that they saw him and Cathleen making out in a room at a party. Tom didn't know you that well so he thought it wasn't his place.

"Hey, hey," he saw you tearing up again and bright you in for a hug, "don't cry over that pillock. You let yourself cry over a boy again and I'm coming for you," you let out a little laugh.

That pact was to never let anyone hurt you again. Never let any man let you cry your heart out. You had stuck with it, always making sure to be the dumper not the dumpee. You hadn't been in a relationship for 3 years now, just sticking with casual hook ups in your final year of uni. It was a good system, some nights you brought guys over and some nights Tom brought girls. If they ever stayed too long either you or Tom would act like a spouse and kick them out.

"I was away for three days!-" you continued to shout.

"She's gone," Tom peeked through the front window.

"Oh wow I was really getting into character there," you held your chest.

"Yeah, throwing the ring was a nice touch. Where'd you get it?" He handed the fallen ring back.

"Oh thanks, I got it from Mum. She just got back from Europe,"

"Hungary?" Tom guessed.

"No, I just ate," you replied. That bad joke received you a pillow to the face.  
That's how it was between you two. Joke after joke, you were real best friends and nothing could come between you. There was a level of comfort that you had around each other. You could eat together, pop his back pimples, outwardly tell him whenever he was getting stinky. It was great. That is until you hang around other people and they start pressuring you.

"When are you going start dating?"  
"Have you two had sex yet or what?"  
"When's he going to propose?"

Never. Never ever ever. He's just a friend.

*

"Wanna go out tonight?" Tom and you were chilling on the couch with the tv on as background noise whilst you were on your phones.

"Are you kidding? I have a class at 8 tomorrow," you scoffed. Tom just groaned in response.

"Come on, you have to start your year off on a low with bad sex with a stranger and a hangover. It can only go up from there,"

"You have clearly learned nothing in the past few years," you paused. You always said yes and Tom was just waiting now, "fine. Let's go with Harry,"

"No! Just us! I don't want to be the third wheel,"

"What are you talking about?" You asked. Tom gave you a disappointed look.

"Halloween last year. What was the costume?" he asked, you grimaced and sucked in a breath. You didn't want to do any matching or couples costumes because you wanted to get laid but your costume was last minute and reused from the year before. You told Tom that you were probably just going as a devil but ended up putting on that white and black wig and going as The Monster's Bride. Tom dressed up as a devil to get back at you for dropping out of the Frankenstein idea but was surprised. It was too late for him to change because Harrison showed up in Frankstein's Monster gear already.

"That was a coincidence!"

"It was my idea to go as Frankenstein in the first place!"

"I take full responsibility for my part-"

"You kept wanting a kiss from him-"

"-but I don't really think it's a big deal. I don't know who I am when I'm drunk, you know that-"

"-and kept laughing at me. You were shoving it in my face"

"I did not!"

"You said 'in your face!' like 8 times!"

"No Harrison," Tom spoke sternly.

"Fair enough," you accepted.

*

Pre-drinks with Tom was always dangerous but you paced yourself. Promising that you wouldn't get hammered. That was a lie. There was something about 90's and early 00's R&B that just brought out this inner goddess that is also total trash at singing.

"All the women who independent! Throw your hands up at me!" you danced along to Destiny's Child. Letting yourself just dance to the music but after a while, you were feeling ill and asked to go outside. Tom was a great support system, although he was probably just as sloshed as you, he could still take care of you.

"Time for home," he held your hand and hailed a taxi.

"No! No! Come on let's just chill at the Ellington! I won't have any more drinks"- also a lie.

"Okay," he sighed. Tom couldn't really say no to you. He knew that you couldn't say no to him either. The Ellington was a jazz club that often played modern songs in a jazz style. It was calm and mellow, it also attracted a younger crowd so you two weren't the odd ones out, "2 am love. Are you sure you want to stay any longer?"

"You're the one who said I needed to start on a low. Look at that guy at the bar," you directed him to a suave dressed gentleman.

"He looks pretty old," Tom looked disgusted. He couldn't deny the man was attractive but he was a good 10 years or so older. You hit him playfully.

"Ugh fine. I have to pee, can you get me a water?" you didn't stick around long enough for an answer. On your way back out you saw Tom chatting up a girl with no drink in his hand so you rolled your eyes and went to the bar, "hello! Sir! Can I get a water? Service? Shall I just fuck off?" you tried getting the bartender's attention but the only reception you received was from the nicely dressed man you had your eyes on. He chuckled slightly at your joke.

"The tap is just here," the scruffy looking man reached and grabbed a glass, quickly filling it, "it's free anyway,"

"Thank you," you sat down next to him and noticed the curriculum in front of him, "do you always drink and read?"

"Only if I'm not drinking and writing," you laughed at his wit.

"I'll drink to that," you continued talking to the man. You asked for his name and when he replied Tom, you looked around the bar for your friend- nowhere to be seen. He must have gone home.

"Looking for someone?"

"My housemate ditched me," you paused and checked your phone for the time, "oh my goodness, it's 3.30, I have a class  8," you rubbed your eyes.

"Me too. But I think I'll be better off in the morning," he noticed you come in all giddy and singing along to the music and slowly getting sober as the night went on. He'd never met anyone who could recite as much Shakespeare as he could.

"It was lovely getting to you Tom but I should really go. Even though he has my keys-the bastard,"

"Well, I only came here because I couldn't sleep. I've had one whisky, did you want a lift home?" he asked with caution, understanding that he might be overstepping.

"Oh that would save me so much money, tariffs are so high right now. Thank you," the drive was nice and short. He didn't charge you anything and was a gentleman...right up until bedtime. There was no doubt in your mind that tonight would be the best worst decision you've ever made. You didn't regret having only 2 hours of sleep after what happened during the early hours of that dewy Monday. Tom had been gentle and rough and you had been quiet and loud. He didn't usually let himself be the type of guy that shoots his shot. He was pleasantly surprised when you invited him up just to make sure you got there alright. He didn't expect anything from you especially because you were still a little tipsy but he asked if he could kiss you goodnight. One connected stranger to another and you agreed - he couldn't contain his excitement. He was fine with a little peck on the cheek but you deepened the kiss, pulling him closer. To your luck, the front door was unlocked. Tom had picked you up and leaned against the bedroom door just appreciating every bit of flesh he got to touch. He couldn't believe he was doing this and wondered if you do this often- but he didn't care to ask he was just so caught up in the moment.

"Oh good girl," he bent you over your desk and praised you for wearing such revealing underwear. You and Tom shared this professor/student fantasy to some extent. Some hair pulling, praising and spanking. Nothing too over the top. It was a nice night..if only you remembered it.


	2. Professor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy first day of classes! You discover you've done something terrible and decide to go out for a kebab to calm down.

"Happy first day of classes," Tom offered you a coffee. You haven't had a morning class since first year so waking up before 10am was hard.

"Mm, thanks," you graciously accepted the mug. Your 7am alarm clock was so annoying you threw it out of the bedroom. You didn't even open your eyes until you were out of the room dragging along the blanket.  
"Why are you awake? You don't have any classes today."

"Annual selfie," he quickly brought out his phone and snapped a picture of your hungover face. He got a slap from you but hardly reacted. His gaze was focused on the disheveled man carrying a blazer. The mystery man cleared his throat and suddenly everything from last night came rushing back. The heat rose up your neck as you grinned awkwardly at the man.

"Good morning," you chirped. The man smiled gratefully. His eyes kept darting to Tom when he spoke.

"Good morning! Last night was-"

"What did you do?! I go out for one-"

"Chill out- he knows who you are," you casually took a sip of your coffee and Tom paused.

"Oh.The door is over there mate, unless you want a coffee,"

"No thank you I'm good," he laughed nervously and took a step closer to you, "I'll see you around."

"Absolutely," you replied calmly. He pecked your cheek and nodded goodbye to Tom. A word wasn't spoken until he was in his car.

"Really? That guy?"

"You left me! How was I supposed to get home?" All this light made your headache worse so you reached for some sunglasses and put them on.

"Why would you fuck a 50-year-oldd?!"

"Hey! He is not 50!" You paused, trying to remember his age, "and I'll tell you how old he is," you paused again and continued on with your coffee, ignoring his smug smirk, "another time, I have to get ready." You always made sure to look nice on the first day since that's what the professors would remember when seeing you. A dedicated student, eager to learning then never to show up again. After you got ready you noticed a number written on your notepad on your bedside table. It was signed  _Hope I hear from you,_ _T xx._ You weren't going to lie you felt a little giddy that he wanted to see you again. You remembered the interesting conversations from last night. No one had ever talked the way he had and you both admitted that you loved English and loved talking about it but everyone you've ever known just thinks it's boring.

"At least you started on a low, only up from here," he asked for a high five but didn't receive one.

"I'll tell you what, if he is as old as you think he has some fucking moves,"

"Lovely," Tom's disgusted expression made you laugh.

"Where's your conquest from last night?" You asked

"Con-? Oh you mean..." he blanked but realised you didn't know her name either, "she left,"

"How early?"

"Before I got home actually,"

"Oh. Well that's a low from you, only up from here," you grabbed his hand to high five yours as a way to mock him. He smiled and let you go on with your day.

*

You were late but the Professor was even later. You sat in the first row closest to the podium because you couldn't read the board from so far back and being front and centre helps you concentrate more. It was 8.30 by the time he showed. Oh shit. Oh no. Oh shit. Okay. Okay calm down.

"Hi everyone. Sorry I'm late I had this amazing ni-" he paused. What were you doing in his class? You're a student? He panicked at how long he was silent for and couldn't stop staring at you. He felt so guilty yet so...not. You smiled tightly and pretended to be unaware of the circumstances. Your gaze encouraged him to continue, "night. As I'm sure many of you did as well. You all look terrible," he joked and looked around the room. "Well I hate introductions more than anyone but I'm new here. I'm Thomas Hiddleston and I'm taking over Diana Pine's Shakespeare in Literature class. I'm sure many of you had her last semester" he stopped again to take you in. Your pen was half in your mouth and you had this sorrowful look in your eyes-like it was your fault this happened. But it wasn't, nothing bad happened. Just two people who enjoy learning getting together for one crazy night. That's all. "Let's get started."

Things settled down after that. Tom got into his groove and he was hypnotizing to watch. Not only was he physically attractive, there was something about his mind, his passion for this subject that made him stand out more than any other lecturer. Although he was still a little awkward whenever you answered a question. He was undoubtedly impressed but he couldn't give you praise like he wanted to. He put in a 'yes' and a 'well done' here and there but nothing that reminded him of the night before.  You definitely made an impression on him last night but today was just as interesting. You actually took time to read the lecture before class and made your own notes beforehand. It was really rare to see that in a student, especially on the first day.

"Okay, that's all from me. We still have  20 minutes left but I'm keen for lunch so you can all leave now if you want," he made some girls laugh and people started exiting. But you stayed. There wasn't a heap of people in the theatre but now that these women crowded around Thomas you felt a little protective. Which is not good. You realised you overstayed your welcome and took your bag and left. This had to be ignored. If the school found out then that's it for you, years of education for nothing!

*

"He's my fucking Professor!" You barged into Tom's room who was shocked to see you home early. He had made himself quite comfortable in his bed..with his laptop...you get it. He was naked.

"Wh-what?!" He slammed the laptop closed and took out his headphones.

"The guy! This morning!" Your arms were out like a hug and you fell onto him. Luckily the boner wasn't at full mast yet so Tom could adjust himself.

"The guy? The 50 year old?!"

"Maybe! I clearly don't know anything about him other than he's my fucking Lit Lecturer!" You voice was getting louder and louder with more desperation and anxiety. The realisation didn't hit you until now that what you did was possibly the lowest of the low. You looked down at Tom's bare torso. "Were you sleeping?"

"Yes! Yes I was sleeping. Let me get changed and we can go out for lunch yeah?" He avoided eye contact.

"Okay," you rose slowly, suspicious about what he was actually doing in here.

*


	3. Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch with Tom is the worst when you know he's right about making adult decisions

"Mmm," you moaned, "this helps," you spoke with a mouthful of kebab.

"Yeah I thought so," Tom looked at you with a smile, knowing he could cheer you up, cheered him up, "so what are you gonna do?" You shrugged in response, trying to focus on the grease filled bread in front of you. "Will you change class?"

"No it's the only one available and I can't postpone graduation. Mum will kill me,"

"She'd have a heart attack knowing what you were doing right now"

"Eating my feelings?" He shoved you.

"Seriously. What's going to happen? You can't get expelled. I'll die without you,"

"Oh please you've already told Harrison,"

"...no I haven't," he scoffed but it was clear that he was guilty. But you showed him a snapchat you saved from Harrison saying  _You're a fucking idiot😂_ , "okay sorry about that but tell me,"

"I don't know what I'm going to do. The only logical thing I can think of right now is just staying in his class and never bringing it up again,"

"Oh okay. That might work," he leaned back against the bench.

"Really?"

"Of course not you bellend!" He pushed the paper out of your hands.

"There was like 2 bites left on that!" You complained.

"You can't just avoid him," he let you have a sip of his drink.

"If he wants to talk about it then I'll talk about it. But I'm just here to study and graduate. So that's all I'll focus on doing," you told him. He dropped the subject and everything was calm for moment but then it stopped there he was walking towards you. Thomas.

"Hello," he gulped. No one spoke for second. What was supposed to happen? Tom had a mouthful of food and slowly chewed, he nudged you to make you speak.

"Hi! How are you?" You blinked a few times. Was it flirting? Nervousness? Who's to say? It was probably both.

"I'm alright, how are you doing?"

"Uh..fine. Good, very good...good," Tom frowned at you.

"Too much," he whispered quickly.

"Good to hear," Thomas paused, "could I steal you for one moment?" He was feeling just as nervous as you. The situation he put himself in could cost him everything he's worked so hard to get. You nodded and Tom just stayed by your side.

"Oh did you want me to-"

"Just piss off!" You muttered to him and he giggled his way to another table. Thomas smiled and sat by you. It really was a coincidence to find you there but he needed to clear the air.

"I'm..so sorry," Thomas began, "I didn't know you were a student, I should have assumed but students don't often go to jazz clubs," he didn't want to find an excuse for sleeping with you because he knew that he really wanted to and he's feels so guilty for not feeling guilty.

"Fair call. It takes two to..y'know..tango so I was of course responsible as well," you cleared your throat. Very uncomfortable.

"I wanted to know how'd feel about.."

"Keeping my mouth shut?" You finished his sentence. You both laughed.

"There's not a lot of ways to put it eloquently but yes. This is my first job and I feel like I already shot myself in the foot," he looked down in shame. How could he be so stupid?

"Don't worry. I won't say anything and I won't take advantage of anything either. We can forget about it," you gulped, you didn't think you could forget him now. He was amazingly gentle and the perfect amount of rough at the same time.

"Thank you. I really really appreciate it," he sighed with relief and stood up, that's when Tom came over, he didn't look too please, "I'll you next week,"

"Bye," you watched Thomas leave, accidentally letting your eyes drift to his toned butt.

"Oh keep it in your pants," Tom groaned.

"I fear I may have to," you sighed.

"Do you feel better?" You didn't.

"Yeah," you lied. A part of you felt really upset about being rejected.  
You knew that it was the right thing to do. It was just one night, just one stupid night. It's all you needed. But Thomas was different, you felt different with him and appreciated his entire essence in and out of the classroom. What was going on? It's not like you had a crush on the guy. He is gorgeous, there's no denying that. Perhaps it's only lust.

Tom knew you were lying. He could always tell but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable. You had your reasons for not being true about your feelings and so did he.


	4. Holland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An acting class with Hiddles reminds you how captivating he was on the first night you met. And he too is impressed with your talent.

Tom had liked you since day one. You were crying on the street just outside of the school gates and entrusted him so easily. It felt really nice. And he was so happy to be your friend, he appreciated it more than anything. Which is why he never told you. Everyone knew he was in love with you by graduation. You were each others dates to the school ball, he had the photos up around the house. It was best night of his life, you both got a little drunk and shared a sweet kiss but decided that being friends was better. There were times where he regretted that damn pact. But he just wanted you to be happy, he could deal with you crying over not having any chocolate left in the house-it was quite cute really. He always had spare snacks that he offered you in exchange for a story about your day, a smile, you name it. He just loved that smile.

He just didn't understand why you liked this Professor. Sure, he's youngish for a teacher but he didn't get what was so fascinating about him. And why he was so different than any other lover. He understood the animalistic lust we all get once in awhile so he's not too bothered by a one night stand every now and then- he even gets to yell at them the next morning and get his jealousy out- but if you got close to someone again he didn't know how he would take it.

That feeling of concern came up again in week 2. Your Monday class with Thomas. Usually by now you go to uni in your pajamas with no bra or make up on but this Monday you looked...hot. You had a nice glow and Tom certainly noticed the push up bra.

"Where are you going dressed like that?" Tom's voice was muffled by the toast in his mouth.

"Uni," you spoke nonchalantly, "why are you up early?"

"Couldn't sleep," he paused, trying not to look at you for too long, "why are you even going? You're usually sleeping off a hangover by now."

"Do you really think so little of me?" You scoffed but didn't hear an answer. "You're a right cock, aren't you?"

"At least I'm not trying to shag my professor...again," he muttered.

"It's not intentional," you started, "but if he asks to bend me over a desk I won't say no," you smiled at him. All he could do was smile politely back. Hearing those words really hurt.

*  
The first row was packed with students this time so you took a place a few spots back. Turns out the word of the hot new professor got around campus.

"Hey guys, woah. A lot more of you than last week," Thomas eyes travelled the crowd unconsciously hoping to spot you and when he did he smiled. He was grateful that you returned it. "I'm uh," his gaze rested on you, "sorry to ask. I know you're all big kids but I actually wrote down a seating plan last week so if you've just come down today would you mind writing down your name," he pulled out and connected his laptop to the screen. There was a birds eye view sketch of the theatre on the screen and the lucky person who got to sit next to the podium was you. Thomas' breathing got a little deeper when you  sat down in front of him, he had a good view of everything. Not that your cleavage was on display, he just happened to notice it more, especially the goosebumps on your skin whenever he walked closer to you.

"I really love his comedies so I thought I'd print out some monologues and duologues and we could quickly get to know each other since I blanked last week during the introduction process," people groaned, "I know. I suck. It's just so I can get to know you better," you smiled a thank you when he passed you a duologue. It was a popular one. Beatrice and Leonato from Much Ado About Nothing. She sits and complains about men while Leonato listens. It reminded you of your friendship with Tom a little, "I'll give you 5 minutes to read and if I've given you a duologue I'll be the supporting character,"

You were first, you pulled two chairs up and directed the professor to sit in one casually. He studied the text he'd given you and smiled. You sat beside him, legs spread and arms crossed, slouching.

"T _oo_ _curst_ _is more than_ _curst_ _. I shall lessen God's sending that way,_  
 _For it is said, "God sends a_ _curst_ _cow short horns,"_

 _But to a cow too_ _curst_ _, he sends none,"_ you changed to sit forward, still relaxed. Thomas followed your lead.

" _So by being too_ _curst_ _, God will send you no horns,"_  he spoke his line nonchalantly. You leaned back and pointed one finger in the air.

" _Just, if he send me no husband,_  
 _For the which blessing I am at him upon my knees every morning and evening._  
 _Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face!_  
 _I had rather lie in the woolen,"_ you lightly scratched Thomas' beard as a way to mock him. He grabbed your wrist and didn't let go during his line.

 _"You may light on a husband that hath no beard,"_ you stood up and shrugged.

 _"What should I do with him? Dress him in my apparel?"_ you wiggled a bit," _and make him my waiting gentlewoman?,"_ you scoffed and began to pace around the suited professor, resting your hands in his shoulders, lightly massaging them _"He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man;"_ you leaned close to his ear _" and he that is more than a youth is not for me, and he that is less than a man, I am not for him,"_ you rose and shrugged, walked to your seat leaning on it with one arm, " _Therefore I will even take sixpence in earnest of the.._ _bearherd_ _, and lead his apes into hell,"_ one leg was placed on the seat and you stood like a superheroine. Thomas' eyes ran down your body.

" _Well then, go you into hell?_ " Thomas was smiling. It was in character but he was really enjoying talking to you, even if you weren't being you right now. You continued on with your monologue, making natural movements with the words. You've studied enough Shakespeare by now to understand him (enough). Thomas impressed and even laughed a bit at your performance. One thing he was grinning at was when you were talking about heaven and bachelor's and your leg touched his while your arm snaked around his neck like you were trying to pick him up at a bar. Then he remembered where was and praised you on your performance.

Lucky for you the only other people that had duologues were the men so that anxiety you were feeling about getting jealous subsided at the end. The rest of the lecture was normal, he spoke about getting into groups and performing another shirt scene in two weeks. You paired with this guy, Nathan, he liked comedy as well so you both decided to meet up later and choose a scene. Thomas saw the look Nathan was giving you-all men gave you that look. You didn't notice it all the time since most of the time it's just them being friendly. But Thomas knew he was trying really hard to get your number.

"What's your number? I'll let you know when I find some scenes and we can meet up over dinner," Nathan spoke so casually to make it seem like no big deal. Thomas scoffed and shook his head, he couldn't believe you paired up with this knobhead.

"Oh sorry, I don't give my number out-I mean I can't!" You explained, he asked why, "..I don't have a phone," you fibbed. Thomas had to bite down on his lip to stop himself from grinning. Poor kid, he thought. He'd never have the pleasure to tug at your hair or feel himself inside of you like he did. Of course he can't do it again. Thinking this put Thomas back into a sour mood. Why were you so tempting? Was it a power thing? Professor and student fantasy come to life? No way, it was way too dangerous. Must have been something else, it can't have been you, could it?

"Y/N could I grab you for a second?" Thomas asked after class.

"You can grab me any time you want," you muttered to yourself before collecting your things. "Yeah what's up?"

"Your interpretation of Beatrice is really good. I mean I know people can do whatever they want with Shakespeare but I really liked the amount of information I got from that scene,"

"Oh. Thank you, that's so nice" you smiled politely.

"Yes. Well I thought you be interested in auditioning for this role in a little performance I'm directing. The character is essentially a young woman who gets put into a situation she doesn't think she's equipped to handle and we follow her on her short journey,"

"A play?"

"Short film. It's a bit angsty, but if you can do comedy you can do drama. I think you'll really suit it," he handed you the script.

"Not fun," you smiled at the vague title, "how many other people are auditioning?"

"I put an ad out last week and 2 other people are interested. The audition is on Friday at 4. I just need to you read a little exercise at the back there," he pointed to a different page. "My numbers on there too," he scratched his ear.

"I actually still have it,"

"Oh right. Of course," he laughed nervously. "Well, send me a message if you need anything."  _Anything at all_ , he thought.

"Will do," you smiled back.


	5. Audition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom helps you out with pre-audition jitters and even takes on a role himself.

"It's Friday. Pub. Now. Let's go," Tom ordered. He had a bad day needed to relax. But you weren't responsive. He called out for you and peeked into your bedroom. You had music playing so you didn't hear him. You also happened to be in your bra and undies holding up different outfits to your body. Tom cleared his throat, he was privileged enough to see you in your undergarments without you getting weirded out.

"Oh! Hey! Which one says 'too cool to care but still cute'?" you held up a black dress and then a polo. Tom entered and went through your closet.

"Your grey sweater and some dark trousers would look good," he passed them to you, "got a date or something?" he asked, noticing your make up.

"No. I have an audition,"

"Audition? You're English, I'm Acting. How does that work?"

"I'm just as surprised," you replied, putting your top on. Tom picked up the character sheet and script.

"Hiddleston? As in-"

"Professor. Yes,"

"You're not still trying to shag are you?"

"No! Of course not! He just asked if I would be interested in this and I said yes. I'm not even going to get it, there are other people trying out as well."

"Well, can I still come along? Give you some pointers to handle the nerves,"

"What nerves?"

"Your pits are glistening. Let me help out," he was desperate to spend some time with you. He feels like you've been distant lately. Not really talking, always being secretive.

"Alright then. We'll have to go now it's in half an hour,"

*

"There's one really good nerve technique I like. It's a camp song I think, The Banana Song?"

"Yeah? How does it go?" You were reading silently.

"BANANA'S OF THE WORLD UNITE!" He shrieked. You jumped and squealed a bit because of the volume and the car swerving silently.

"Jesus Christ in heaven, are you mental?" you slapped his arm. All he could do was laugh.

"That wasn't even it. We'll do the whole song outside the audition," And you did, the song involved regular talking and then shouting and even some dance moves. You felt fresh after doing it and in a giddy mood.

"Having fun out here?" Thomas poked his head out and smiled when he saw you. You grinned back, "I'm ready if you are,"

"Yes! Wait for me?" You turned to Tom.

"Of course," you performed your complicated handshake and hug then entered Thomas' office.

The audition went well, Thomas asked some questions about the character mainly to test if you studied her and you did. This character was the typical pixie dream girl but Thomas' script had made her three dimensional and he believed you were the best fit for it. There were no other people audition he just said that to motivate you and you blew him away. You completely became his character, he loved it.

"Thank you for coming in," Thomas opened the door for you. Tom was sitting outside biting his nails but shot up when the door opened.

"Thanks for asking me to. I really like the script. It was raw and relatable but still made me laugh for some reason" you smiled.

"Thank you. I've got my Lottie, I just need a Ben," Thomas shrugged.

"You mean-"

"Yes. To be honest, you were the only contender. I just wanted to make sure," you grinned at the news. Tom rolled his eyes, he couldn't believe you were falling for this guy's shit. There's probably not even a film date.

"Thank you. So much," you huge Thomas really tightly, released and turned to your friend, "I got it!" You hugged him too. Tom's eyes met Thomas', the tension was clear.

"Congratulations! Let's celebrate with a beer!" Tom went to grab your hand and lead you out of the building but you took control and dragged him to Thomas.

"Thomas! Tom here is actually studying acting and he really liked the script. Could he audition for Ben?" You asked. The men both exchanged a knowing look.

"Oh I don't know-" Tom began.

"I've got a few people lined up for Ben...but if you're free now I could fit you in," Thomas gave in.

"Yeah of course!" You shoved Tom into the tiny office, you waited outside. They stood silently and Tom rolled his eyes and let out a nervous chuckle.

"I don't have to do this. Don't feel obligated to consider me. She's just being...herself," Tom explained. Thomas sat at his desk.

"Herself?"

"Yeah. You know, she's just really thoughtful. Likes helping others better themselves. She often does it in weird ways but it still works," Tom cleared his throat to clear the tension he just created by talking about you.

"Tell me more about her. I'm obviously going to get to know her little but is there anything that will help me bring out my character? What makes her angry? What makes her laugh? Jealous? Cry?" Thomas asked.

"Well asking her same question really pisses her off. Repetition. Which is why I'm confused about her doing all this," Tom paused- trying not to blow your chances at this, "she laughs a lot at me but also herself. Like when I muck up or trip over my own feet. She makes sure I'm alright and then say something so dumb like 'did you have a nice trip?' And then laugh to herself. It's painfully cute. She isn't a very jealous person...probably because of me," Tom went quiet.

"How so?"

Tom didn't want to explain his pact with a stranger but for some reason, he did, "when we were younger.."  
...  
"And so since then, she hasn't really had a relationship that wasn't on her terms. She often wants what she can't have. Sorry, I've been blabbering on, do you still mind if audition?" Holland apologized. Thomas smiled softly, the kid has no idea that he just did.

"I have no problem with you auditioning. I think you'll do great," Thomas wasn't smiling but Tom could tell he was speaking the truth in some way. Tom was taken back by this, not sure about Thomas' angle was but he went on with the audition. Quickly doing a small scene.

"How was it?" You asked. Tom nodded smugly but mockingly. He truly didn't feel like it was a real audition.

"He was great. I'll let you know tomorrow afternoon after I interview the others," the men shook hands. Grips as tight as the other, making both knuckles white.


	6. Dinner with Hiddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiddleston comes over for tea and apparently, a drunk Harrison does as well. Tom tries his best to ruin the mood between you and your Professor.

" _I'm done crying over her,_ " you sang along to the zen music. You were taking a shower thinking you were home alone but Tom didn't go to his tutorial today so he was home early. He smiled when you sang really loudly and your voice broke.

"Hey! I'm home!" He knocked on the bathroom door.

"Hey! Did you get the role?!" You turned the shower off and started drying. Tom leaned against the hallway wall opposite the bathroom.

"Ah yeah I did actually," Tom scratched his neck.

"That's great!" You opened the door and gave your friend a hug. "I get to see you in action once again," you punched his arm.

"Where are you off to?"

"Nowhere," you shrugged and emerged later in a semi-nice outfit.

"No one wears a sundress and flats at home...you invited him over didn't you?!" Tom snapped his fingers. You acted confused.

"I haven't the faintest clue what you're talking about," you brought out a whole chicken hat was marinating in the fridge.

"Your pants are on fire, Y/N. Come on, Hiddleston's coming over for dinner isn't he? You always make a roast for boys you like,"

"I make roasts for you all the time," you tried disproving his theory.

"Yeah. Because you're in love with me," you laughed at his joke. You liked him once a few years ago and he never let's it go, "this is too much. You already said y wouldn't pursue him,"

"I'm not! It's just tea with my Professor and roommate...who has to suddenly leave straight after," Tom was practically begging by being so close to you in the kitchen. He kept taking your apron away every time he spoke and you kept taking it back.

"Don't try this-"

"I'm not trying anythin-,"

"You're going to get hurt-"

"I'm not going-"

"He doesn't...want you," you didn't take the apron back. You stayed silent, trying to think about why you felt like you could keep pursuing him. Why was he so desirable? Why would you want to put his job and your degree at jeopardy? You swallowed the lump in your throat, accepting the truth once again. Tom felt bad saying it but he didn't apologise, you didn't expect him to either. It was the truth and there was no denying it. Tom panicked when you didn't respond and kept cutting vegetables. You sniffed and wiped your nose. He felt his heart in his stomach. He made you cry. He knew it wasn't the first time either but he was hoping that last time would be it. Little did he know you often cried over him. Your best friend. The forbidden fruit. Maybe that's why Thomas was so alluring.

"Cut these up for me? He'll be here in um..yeah soon," you sniffed again and went to the bathroom to make sure your face was okay.

"Babe.." Tom reached out for you but he couldn't explain himself. He's never been this protective and he didn't want to ruin anything between you two. So he kept his mouth shut and chopped his veggies.  
You emerged a few minutes later looking completely different. Skinny jeans and a nice floral top. Tom thought you looked gorgeous still but you felt a little bad about yourself.

Tom could tell. You weren't smiling as often as before and weren't talking to him about your day. You lit some candles on the dining table but blew them out and just put a flower as the centrepiece. It wasn't as attractive as you pictured it but it was still nice. Nice enough. "Shit I forgot the wine," you groaned.

"I'll go out and get some. Don't worry,"

"No, I'll go. If Hiddleston shows up just offer him an appetizer!" You rushed to get your purse.

"What appetizer?!"

"In the fridge, you bellend!" You shouted from the front door. Tom smiled at the insult.

*

Tom heard a knock on the door. Oh no, you were still out. Which meant that that was Thomas. He walked to the door slowly and opened it, trying to be welcoming.

"Hi. Come on in," Thomas was carrying a bouquet of flowers and wearing a nice tweed jacket and slacks. Tom knew you'd crazy for him, especially the way he smelled.

"Hi Tom. I brought over some flowers, Y/N mentioned they were her favourite,"  _uh oh_ , Tom thought. Tom took them with a smile.

"Uhh, would you like a beer? She's just gone out to get some wine for ya,"

"Oh how nice of her. I guess I'll wait," Thomas was being the perfect guest yet Tom felt so uncomfortable.

"Hey! I accidentally bought 6 bottles! Hope it's enough," you opened the front door and walked to the kitchen where the men were standing.

"Every time," Tom muttered and took the wine from you. Your eyes lit up seeing Thomas in the room.

"Hi! I'm so happy you could make it," you told him. You wanted to go for a hug but just went for a lingering handshake. "We're having chicken, I hope that's alright," Thomas followed you to the kitchen counter and you spotted the bouquet. "Oh, did you bring these?" You spoke while trying to open one of the wines. Thomas quickly jumped to your side to help.

"Ah yes. You keep mentioning it whenever we touch on scenes,"

"That obvious, eh?" You quickly smelled the flowers and fought the urge to grin. You couldn't believe he paid attention so closely. "Thank you and thanks for opening that. It gets harder every year,"

"No problem," Thomas' grin was shining. He felt really comfortable around you. Unlike Tom, was was currently spying on you like a pervert in the shadows. He excused himself and went to his room to text Harrison but when he wouldn't respond he decided to call him.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up,"

"Hey! What's up?"

"Oi! Come to mine. Now,"

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Y/N's got her sexy professor over and I need a buffer,"

"Mate I'm already at the pub. I'm about 2 pints down-"

"Fine, I'll pick you up!"

"Ugh, okay," Harrison agreed. Tom rushed back to the kitchen, you two were still laughing and talking. Part of him didn't want to leave but Harrison had a special talent at making everyone involved in a conversation. Tom didn't want to third wheel tonight.

"Hey uh. I got a call from Harry, he doesn't sound too good I'm just going to go pick him up," Tom pick ed up his keys. You were surprised, you didn't realise you'd have any alone time with Thomas tonight especially after what Holland said earlier.

"Oh. Alright, see ya," you responded chirpy. Tom left but entered again with a stern expression.

"I'll be back." And then shut the door. He raced to his car, checking his watch every time he hit a bump in the road. The next 5-10 minutes were the most stressed out he's ever been. Harrison was taking his time as well.

"I'm here, where are you?" Tom asked.

"Oh okay, I'm inside. I'll come out now I just gotta pay. I'll be like 5," Harrison was relaxed and cool, the total opposite of Tom right now.

"Fucking. Hurry. Up," Tom beeped his horn. Harrison skipped out the building like a kid, smiling at his driver.

"Hey, how's it going?" Harrison left the passenger door open while putting on his seatbelt.

"Oh my god. Knowing how hot she is for the guy they're probably already undressed!" Tom panicked. He was half right, you were hot for the Professor especially when he smelled musky and sweet.

You two were sitting at the small dining table, you swapped out your fake centrepiece for his lovely fresh flowers. You two were talking like friends who haven't seen each other in a year.

"So what was the inspiration behind Lottie?" You poured Thomas his second glass of wine, asking him about his little film. He bit his lip, not entirely sure.

"Um. I watch a lot of...things," he laughed.

"Things?"

"Cinema, TV, people. And what I noticed is the desire for a partner. Usually a film will have the main character as the one hoping for a partner but I was bored of that storyline and wanted to show the other side. What goes on in the life of the desired? When confronted by Ben, we see Lottie act accordingly rather than out of character. Because the audience knows her story,"

"And Ben's just like this creepy lovesick dude trying to get in her pants?"

"From the audience's point of view but from mine he's just been in love with this girl for years and he can't see that she's happy the way she is," you nodded at his passion for his work.

"Should I expect any Oscar's?" You joked. He smiled too.

"I'm afraid this film is only going to be in a short independent festival. Just participation awards," another pause. You swirled the wine in the glass and took another sip. He looked so good tonight you couldn't believe you took off your dress to change into jeans. But Tom was right, Hiddleston doesn't want you-well he technically never said it. He just said don't tell anyone. He knew this too, you two were practically eye fucking each other across the table. Just as you leaned in the front door slammed shut.

"Heeeee's heeeeerrree!" Harrison came in shouting. You stood up and sighed. Harrison engulfed you into a bear hug, lifting you up and twirling you around drunkenly planting kisses on your cheek.

"Okay okay, welcome home dickhead. Put me down," you lead him to the dining table and made him sit. "He's pissed!" You whispered at Tom, who just nodded. Harrison found a small bottle of whisky in Tom's glove box and helped himself.

"Do you have a toilet?" Harrison yawned and scratched his chest, he didn't even notice the man sitting next to him, "oh hey mate, Harrison," they shook hands. Thomas smiled and introduced himself. "Aah. 'The professor' congratulations are in order I believe. Not everyone gets Y/N into,"

"Film!" You covered Harrison's mouth and he began licking you but you didn't care, "I hate repetition so it's a miracle I'm in a film!" You grinned then frowned at Harrison, "go to the toilet," you ordered, "I'm just going to check the roast, I'll be right back."

The remaining men watched you leave. Thomas put his glass down. "I'll fill that up for ya," Tom took the glass and ran to the kitchen. As soon as he entered he was slapped on the arm.

"Why is he here? I thought you took him home!" You were still whispering. Tom realised he didn't want to be anywhere in the house but knew that if you and Thomas were left alone he didn't know what the outcome would be. So he gave you the glass and a bottle of wine and pushed you out the kitchen.

"You go mingle. I'll cook!" He avoided the question altogether. You didn't fight, all Tom had to do was serve. You sat by Thomas on your four person table.

"It should be ready soon, if he isn't out in 5 minutes I'm going to beat him with a spoon," you joked.

"You're very close. How long have you known each other?" Thomas had a sip of water not wanting to drink too much tonight.

"Since high school. He caught me crying over a boy and we made this weird pact that kind of solidified our friendship,"

"Pact," Thomas spoke as matter of fact, so it was true, he thought. You don't do relationships. Every day he discovered something new about that made you eerily familiar to his character. You assumed it was a question.

"Yeah it was just a promise not to let myself get too attached. It's worked so far,"

"So you haven't had heartbreak in..?"

"A few years, yeah," Thomas kept quiet, shocked at how someone could go that long without feeling heartbroken, "I know it's not healthy. But I'm not a psychopath, I promise. It's just easier to stay single. But I'm not actively staying single, hint hint,"it just happens to work out in my favour. I'm usually not...stimulated enough,"

"Intellectually?" Thomas guessed. You paused but nodded.

"And they're shit in bed," you both laughed.   
Thomas was shocked with the similarity to Lottie. Probably not personality but definitely the situation and circumstances. Boy in love with girl, girl just trying to live life. It was obvious to Thomas from the way Holland talked about you during his audition that he was totally in love. How couldn't you see it? "Shall I help with serving?" Thomas asked but you objected and told him you'd bring it out. When you entered the kitchen Tom was balancing dishes on his arm like a chef. The plates didn't have anything on them.  
"Can you stop pissing about? The chicken is probably dry," to your delight, it wasn't that bad.

"That was delicious. What spices did you use?" Thomas asked at dinner. Harrison was constantly burping, ruining the nice atmosphere, much to Toms delight and your dismay.

"I used-" you began but Harrison's massive earthquaking belch interrupted.

"Oof, excuse I me," he rubbed his chest. You waited a moment to see if he was finished and it seemed so.

"Paprika, turmeric, cumin-" another huge belch occurred but this time it was Tom. He smiled whereas you sighed.

"Oh my," Tom giggled and even went for a high five but you just stared at the boys. You were trying not to lose your shit. You needed a good night with Thomas and these weren't helping.

"Would you boys like some ice cream?" You asked calmly, Tom knew it was a trap but he couldn't warn his inebriated companion.

"Yeah! Oh love I'm craving a sundae,"

"Then you should probably go to Macdonalds and get one,"

"Yeah! Tom can drive,"

"I really can't," Tom struggled to come up with an excuse, "I've had too much wine. I'm sure we have some ice cream in the freezer."

"I'm afraid we don't. I checked earlier," your acting skills were on par because Tom was doubting himself given that he bought some yesterday, "can you please buy some? Also, take him home. He needs to rest," you gathered the dishes.

"Please. Let me help, you've been a wonderful host. The least I could do is wash up," you didn't answer Thomas but you didn't object. He followed you to the kitchen while Tom grumpily picked up Harrison and took him home.

He sped down the motorway since Harrison lived about 10 minutes away but knowing you, if you were working your seductive magic, you'd already 'accidentally' gotten water on your shirt exposing your boobs to the guy. Tom couldn't think about your nude form right now! He had to focus on the road.

"When are you gonna tell her man?" Harrison was leaning against the passenger window.

"Shut up,"

"Seriously just do it. I'm sure she likes you back,"

"She doesn't," Tom sounded certain. Harrison rolled his eyes, tired at how you two kept wanting each other but sabotaging it as soon as those feelings creep up again.

When Tom arrived home, he found you alone. Which was unexpected. He assumed you would drag Hiddleston into your room an don't come out for the weekend. But there you were, not twenty minutes later in your pajamas eating ice cream out the tub. He knew you were lying, he also knew you were upset if you were eating straight from the bucket.

"Hey," he walked caution and sat close you. You smiled seeing your best friend.

"Hey...sorry I lied," you put some ice cream in your mouth and began talking, "I jus wan-ed a spen some time alone," then you offered to him. He took it and had a spoonful.

"Did he leave?"

You nodded, smiling softly, "yes," you bit your lip, thinking that you were finished talking, "I may have kissed him and he rejected me, just like you said. He didn't want me," Tom took a breath in to speak, "don't say I told you so. I knew it was a long shot I just...hoped-" a tear filled your eye but you mustered up the courage to keep it down. Tom gave you a cuddle on the couch, he felt bad for you but he felt safe. You didn't want to delve into the details of the night.

_"You really don't need to wash up. You're our guest, we have a dishwasher...it's name is Tom," you joked. Thomas smiled and_ _rolled his sleeves up._

_"It's no problem. It's been a while since I had someone cook for me,"_

_"Yeah?" You leaned against the counter, watching him scrub._

_"Yes. I too am a bit unlucky in the whole relationship spectrum of my life," he admitted._

_"That's alright. Relationships don't make life...life," you shrugged._

_"Yeah. I just always assumed I'd meet someone by now. I've had a few girlfriends but, like you, often ended on my terms," his honesty made you feel something in your chest. Not necessarily a pain, just something that you haven't felt much of before. It made you want to leap into his arms and give him a big hug._   
_You two continued talking while he washed._

" _Thank you for dinner," Hiddleston grabbed his coat._

_"Thank you for cleaning. Not all my guests are as chivalrous as you," come on Thomas, take the hint. There was a pause and it seemed so long because you two felt the undeniable tension in the room but in reality it was only a few seconds. You smiled in defeat and opened the door for your guest._   
_"Rehearsal Monday?"_

_"I'll see you then," Thomas planted a lingering kiss on your cheek and one on your lips. Letting the wine take over. The kiss didn't lead anywhere yet you were still flustered, "um-I'm sorry," oh no, "you're a lovely girl," oh no, "I just don't think-"_

_"I gotcha. Don't mention it. Drunken kiss. I'll see you Monday," you cleared the air._

_"4pm. Make sure Tom shows up," Thomas walked backwards out the door._

_"See you," you smiled and shut the door. Releasing a small sob before breathing normally._


	7. Rehearsal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Script like chapter. A little depth into what you're starring in.

"Hey, how was it?" Tom was eating when you got home from uni. You just had your first class since kissing Thomas and it was a doozy. Another quiz followed by group work. Ugh, so terrible.

"Fine," you shrugged. "I have to give a presentation next week so I'll have company over soon."

"What day?"

"Tomorrow, Friday and possibly Sunday,"

"Okay. Hey, about the script. Are we supposed to kiss?" You took a second look, panicked. You hardly read the directions, just focusing on the lines.

"Yeah, looks like. Why? Afraid you might fall for me?" You teased.

"Yeah you'd love that," if only you both knew the truth.

*  
The rehearsal was more of a table read to see how well the rest if the cast got on with each other. You had great chemistry with some and others were terrible and awkward but Thomas used this to his advantage by swapping parts. There weren't too many roles:

Charlotte 'Lottie' Green:  _Care-free mid twenties woman who just sees life to be lived. Doesn't like attachments and often finds herself with her head in the clouds. Doesn't know that her actions effect others._

Ben Singer:  _Lottie's love interest No.1. Always expects more from their relationship and ends up becoming something they both dislike at the end of it._

Denise Green (Lottie's Mother):  _Strict on her daughter. 'my way or the highway'. Divorced and has a negative view on love and marriage. Part of the reason why Lottie doesn't believe in soul mates_.

Jay:  _Mysterious man that Lottie has a conversation with one night and let's her have her catharsis. Suspected lover No.2._

Friends/Coworkers: Ryan, Daniel, Kelly.

_Opening. Slow montage of Lottie and Ben on dates and home video footage of them happy together along with nice music. Then as the music speeds up and becomes more rock and roll the nice footage is interjected with Lottie partying, smoking, drinking, kissing. Dark v Light._

_Scene 2, Camera focused on Lottie as first person_ _Pov_ _. She's sitting on a bar stool holding a beer._

**Lottie** : How did I get here? Good question. Uh, my boyfriend and I had a huge fight and he threw me out  
So I went to my mums, had a huge fight after a day or so and I just wanted a drink.

 **J** : No I meant from the tube. But carry on, I have almost a full pint left.

 _Scene 3. Ben's Apartment_. Lottie is sitting on the sofa, Ben is standing far away from her.

 **Lottie** : What do you mean?

 **Ben** : What do you mean, what do I mean?

 **Lottie** : What about what do you mean, what do I mean, do you mean?

 **Ben** : Charlotte-

 **Lottie** : Ugh

 **Ben** : See! There it is! You're psychotic! I'm so undeniably in love with a psychopath!

 **Lottie** : That hurt my feelings, there you go not a psycho.

 **Ben** : Socio then. I also noticed that you didn't say it back which means you don't feel it back.

 **Lottie:**  I don't know..

 **Ben** : What? You don't know..how you feel about me? I have worshipped the ground you walk on every day for a year and you still feel nothing.

 **Lottie** : That's not true-I just-I don't know...how to explain my feelings. I didn't grow up with the best role models.

 **Ben** : It's divorce, Lottie. Happens to half of all marriages. Get over it. You're a big girl now. Don't cry about it, just tell me how you feel.

 **Lottie** :...will it make a difference?

 **Ben** : Of course it will.

 **Lottie** : Will it, Ben? Because I'm pretty sure I've explained myself over and over again. I told you I never wanted...what we have.

_Beat_

**Lottie** : I see bags already packed and I've got a pretty strong idea about where this nights going.

_Beat._

**Lottie** : look, I think it's best if I stay at my mum's.

 **Ben** : that's why the bags are packed. It's my apartment.

_Beat._

**Lottie** :..well...goodbye...au revoir..arrivederci..bon voyage...salut.

 **Ben** : you're only using French now-

 **Lottie** : comme ci comme ca...j'mapelle charlotte.

_Beat._

**Lottie** : okay fine. I'm going.

_Scene 4. Denise's house. Small kitchen area, making tea._

**Denise** : But he was so nice. Why did you break up with him?

 **Lottie** : we didn't break up. He does this every month. Aw but I've loved you ever since day one, why can't you admit you love me. Like chill out dude, we don't even have a dog together. Why would I admit that?

 **Denise** : do you?

 **Lottie** : what?

 **Denise** : do you admit it? That you love him.

 **Lottie** :...no. I don't want to lose him but I don't love him. I mean, did you ever truly love dad?

 **Denise** : once..for a week. A wild week-

 **Lottie** : okay-

 **Denise** : I was practically on my knees the entire 5 days in Cabo.

 **Lottie** : Mum, stop-

 **Denise** : He called me his naughty little sex toy-

 **Lottie** : please stop.

 **Denise:**  and then I

 **Denise, Lottie** : found out the bastard was already married. I almost ruined that marriage. I can't believe I signed a pre-nup.

 **Lottie** : yep.

 _Another montage_   _of the next few days. Lottie receives texts and calls from a number of people_.

_Scene 5, Lottie is smoking on her mum's balcony. Listening to voicemails._

**Ben's voice** : babe please pick up. I love you. I don't care if you're not ready. I just want you back.  
...  
Lottie please answer your phone I'm worried about you  
...  
Please.

 _Scene 6 footage of Lottie drinking, partying, dancing and having sex with a stranger_.

"What's that? Sex? You have to do a sex scene?" Tom interrupted the session.

"Yeah, did you not read the script?" You whispered back. Tom shrugged.

"We can get a body double if that makes you more comfortable," Thomas interjected.

"I'm good," you responded.

"Tom?" Hiddleston asked Tom.

"Sorry?"

"Would you like a body double for your sex scene?"

"Um..I-" Tom looked at you for an answer but you just smiled nonchalantly. You've seen each other practically naked before so it's not anything too new. You'll just be on top of each other. "No I'm good too," he let out a breath trying not to think about the next few weeks.


	8. Filming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom wants to practise that one special scene you can't seem to get right.

Lottie was a little promiscuous. A lot more than you assumed but you wanted to show everyone that you were a professional, even though you were far from it. You filmed the mother-daughter scenes in the first week. Then some solo scenes in the second. It was hard keeping up with school, work and filming but Tom was with you every step of the way. You weren't getting a lot of sleep on the weekends mainly because of the long hours on set. Especially the stupid montage scenes where you had to look trashed. 

Thomas said actually drinking can help so you did. You didn't have to speak during these scenes, only dance, drink and kiss random people. Harrison was there as random guy #2 and you almost kissed him but Thomas said cut. That stroking his face was enough. There was a small scene where you were alone in your room just thinking with Thomas reading the narration for you to react to. That went well, that felt intimate even though there were other people in the room. It took a while to stop the giggles with your scene with Tom. Thomas said for you to look bored whereas Tom needs to really feel the love. It was so awkward, he suddenly didn't know where to touch you.

"Come on man, grab me. Take control, I'm really not meant to be doing anything besides laying here," you directed Toms hands to lift your butt and wrap your leg around his waist. You were happy that you didn't have to really react to much but feeling Toms touch on you was nice.

"Okay, cut. We'll try this again another time. I think we should move onto your fight," Thomas was a fine director. He was really hands on and respectful. Tom was kind of afraid to really get close to you but Thomas really became Ben. It astounded you, it astounded everyone in the room. And it certainly made burying your attraction to him harder.

Tom noticed this and felt a little emasculated that day so he came to you one night, "hey," he knocked on your door, he was in just a pair of boxers and you were in a shirt and undies getting for bed.

"Hey what's up?"

Tom walked to you and fell on your bed, "I'm a bit...I don't know, upset,"

"Why?" You frowned, worried about your friend. He turned over and laid down next to you on one side.

"I just feel like I can't play the character as well as he wants me too,"  
You tilted your head came face to face with him.

"You're a brilliant actor, Tom. So what if you need a little help becoming someone else's vision. I get help every day. It gets unbearably annoying sometimes but he's just making us better,"

Tom pumped his eyebrows to say fair point and changed the topic, "why are you in on a Saturday? You've been doing so much, I thought you'd be out getting rowdy," he nudged you and you laughed.

"Nah, I'm too tired. I'm getting old," you snuggled into his chest to relax, he laid on his back and wrapped an arm around you, "this morning I had a sore knee because I sat cross-legged during breakfast,"

"Poor old gal," he kissed your forehead, "almost your time," he joked.

"I'd say so," you stretched, lifting your shirt and exposing your underwear, "you better not cry at my funeral," you yawned.

"You better not cry at mine,"

"My eulogy will be nothing but prayers containing thanks to the big guy," you changed to lay on your stomach, facing Tom, "thank you for taking this horny ass bitch away from me so I can finally go out on my own...but also give him back because I'm too scared to do that," Tom grinned at your teasing, "why aren't you out?"

"Same reason as you I guess. Old, tired and grumpy. It's just not fun anymore," he rubbed his eyes. Then sighed after a moment, he saw that your eyes were shut and felt your breathing slow down, "Oi! Don't fall asleep on me! You always drool,"

"What? No, I don't," you lifted yourself up.

"I have a favour to ask you and don't laugh at me,"

"You know I can't promise that," you responded. Tom sighed and asked anyway.

"Can we practise..you know.."

"What?"

"You-know-what, the scene," Tom was squirming.

"Oh! Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I've never done it before and I don't want to embarrass myself like I did today," Tom was being serious, he'd never pressure you into doing something like this for his own benefit. You felt bad for the guy and agreed.

"Okay, get on top. Try and almost grind on my thigh but near the middle," he began moving his hips, "gee that ballet helped out didn't it?" You noticed his motions, he grinned."you're supposed to look like you're in love so maybe try holding me closer like you're afraid of losing me," he did and his crotch lined up with yours, "I guess now just do the worm?" Tom fell on top of you and laughed really hard.

"Do the worm?" His pitch heightened as he clapped and fell to your side.

"Hey, you wanted some pointers. That's the best I could think of," you explained yourself, Tom calmed himself down, "oh shit you know what I just realised,"

"What?"

"People we know will watch this."

"What's so bad about that?"

"All the kissing, the lovemaking. Can you even imagine what our parents will be thinking?"

"Oh my god, I can't believe you've finally done it!" Tom imitated his mum.

"Good for you two! But you shouldn't have filmed it!" You imitated yours, "I don't get why everyone thinks we're a couple." You mumbled against his bare chest. Both of you had your eyes shut, feeling slumber taking over.

"Probably because we're always falling asleep on each other," Tom mumbled back, smiling while playing with your hair. You didn't respond, it was rare to feel this comfortable so quickly so you took advantage and let sleep take you.


	9. Hiddleston

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No more denying there's nothing between you and your director.

Rocking your hips along with Tom. His hands groped at your breasts, covering your nipples. You made sure to heave your chest to make the close ups seem believable.

"And cut! Great take guys," Thomas wanted a passionate between you and Tom and it was a little weird at first but a shot or two of vodka later you had the confidence to perform correctly. A girl passed you your t-shirt and you hopped off Tom. The nude underwear looked so ugly so you quickly got changed and emerged later in a simple dress. 

Weird thing to do Monday morning but you're happy it's out of the way. Thomas was too. He's hardly been personal with you lately but he's sure been seeing you and touching you. He wanted a chance to talk soon. About how he felt and about you felt. He cancelled class today because he really wanted to finish the film and get back to being friends with you. He didn't want to admit it because it's such an ugly emotion, but he was jealous. 

He was honest to god jealous of Tom and Jason and every other guy that had kissed you during filming. The filming today was the final straw. He didn't want a lot of nudity mainly because your supple form made him think the same dirty thoughts from the first night he met you. He wanted you now, he knew Tom was enjoying being ridden. But Hiddleston knew for a fact that you wanted him, not Tom. Your attempts to hang out with Thomas had been really obvious at the start but you cooled off pretty quickly. He wasn't expecting this, he thought you'd try harder but he admired you for listening to reason. If only he could listen too. Over the filming weeks, Thomas had been a more hands-on director intentionally to get you to notice him. It didn't work out so much in his favour but all those times you thought he wasn't looking or listening he knew you still felt something for him. Even if it was a change in breathing or the way you looked at him perform and teach, he knew you felt the same way he did.

"Could I grab you for a moment?" Thomas called you over, even your walk was mesmerizing especially with that flowy dress which clung to all the right places, "I just wanted to do one more scene tonight. You'll just be checking your phone, showing the cycle of your actions,"

"Okay," you smiled, "where will it be?"

"We can do it at mine-film. We can film at my apartment. It overlooks the city so there'd be a nice background. I do want the costume to be a man's white shirt and a lace bra if you own one,"

"Yeah, I've got the bra. I can ask Tom if he has a shirt,"

"Brilliant, see you tonight," Thomas planted a kiss on your cheek. Giving you a small flashback to the last time he did that. But this kiss had different connotations. You could feel the fire behind it. He didn't just want the lace bra for the film.

*

"Thanks, boys, see you later," Thomas closed the front door. It was about 9 pm and you were really cold. Thomas didn't like Tom's shirt on you and replaced it with his own, claiming that the bigger size was better. You went to his room to change while the camera crew left but you just stayed in your underwear and sat on the bed. You heard footsteps and a knock.

"Yes?"

"May I come in?" Thomas' voice was low and seductive. You made the right call by not changing.

"Yes," you confirmed. You stood up as the door squeaked and Thomas' lip sided smile was enough incentive for you to start stripping. That and the enthusiastic run he did to the bed. His hot lips touched yours, then he sucked on your neck and breasts. Slowly grinding into you as you made out. He unhooked your bra and slid you out of everything but your g-string.

"Glorious," he commented as you dropped to your knees. You unzipped his trousers and shimmied them and his pants down springing his cock free. The first taste was delicious and you made it well known by your moan. He moaned a bit too the further you went down and even thrust his hips forward slightly. Your tongue work had him a little light-headed, "I need you. I've waited too long," he admitted, "we'll just have to keep this between us. No friends, no family. Just..us," it was upsetting for you both but it felt totally intimate. No one in the world but you two. You kissed to confirm and carried on with your night.


	10. Hiding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The relationship is put in stone once filming is over

Keeping a secret was so exciting. Although keeping a secret from your best friend was virtually impossible. He always asked where you were off to at random times and why you got home so late some days. You always said that you were at the library or grabbing a feed, hoping he wouldn't get suspicious. He knew when you were lying to him though, good actor, bad liar. He assumed you began sleeping with Hiddleston. He just didn't know why you were lying.

"Been at the library?" Tom was sitting on your bed in the dark. He wanted a cool James Bond villain feel but it was just straight up serial killery. You jumped backwards and yelped.

"Jesus! What are you doing in here, you weirdo?" You took off your coat, exposing the hickey on your chest. Tom clicked his fingers and pointed to it.

"Evidence! You've been hooking up with someone,"

"So?"

"Someone you're not supposed to hook up with, I assume," Tom smiled, he knew it.

"What do you know?"

"I know that getting caught bumping uglies with your professor could risk everything you've worked hard towards," he crossed his arms. Your shoulders dripped, the jig was up.

"How did you even know it was him?"

"You've been acting cautious. If it was Harrison would have called straight after...you both would have," Tom joked. You knawed at your lip, nervous about his habit of spilling secrets.

"Please don't tell anyone,"

"..I won't," he showed a sad smile.

"Tom-"

"I won't! I can actually keep a secret, you know," he nudged you. You let out a breath of relief, "so are you dating?" Tom needed to make sure he wasn't going to hurt you.

"Um..." you thought about every conversation you've had with Thomas. "I think.." not once did you even mention exclusivity. "Oh god."

"You're an idiot," Tom laughed.

"I am an idiot. Shit," you groaned into your comforter,"I hate talking about my feelings. My feelings are the worst,"

"Yeah," Tom laughed again but he wasn't happy. He was worried and nervous and jealous and feeling so many emotions all at once, "why didn't you tell me?" You hesitated. "Come on, it's the first time you've lied to me in..yonks. You even tell me things about your day which I really don't want to know sometimes," he talking about the days when you're constipated. You just felt that level of intimacy with him. You could tell him everything.

"I'm sorry...it's just so dangerous if people know," you cupped his hands, pleadingly, "please don't tell anyone Tom," you squeezed. He wouldn't. You were serious.

"Of course I'm not going to tell on you," he messed up your hair, "can we just hang out like we used to? Kebabs, Netflix, big blanket and then ice cream out the tub." You smiled at your trustworthy friend.

"Sounds amazing. And I'm definitely going to need it if I'm going to talk with him,"

 _And no boy talk_ , he wanted to so desperately say. It's getting harder and harder to hear about Thomas. How amazing he is. How enchanting he is. He's the perfect man...but he's so much older than you! He doesn't believe that you're really as comparable as you think. Thomas is going to break your heart. And that'll break Tom's too.

"What are you going to say to him?" Tom asked, you were both on the couch under a comfy duvet eating snacks.

"What?"

"What do you want? A relationship? With him?" He was being as nice as possible. You still felt hurt by the question. You knew it was completely crazy to consider dating your teacher given the circumstance but at the same time it was really exciting and you felt a connection with Thomas. He kept you stimulated.

"I don't know," your voice drifted. Trying to imagine what a relationship like that would be like. You probably couldn't even go out in public and display any affection towards each other in fear of being caught. Thomas you often just spoke to each other like friends, perhaps it was too early. Let him define it and if you're not happy with the outcome...then you leave. Classes are almost over, this trimester passed very quickly.

"How do you feel about him? Come on, you can use this as practise for the real thing, make up sex excluded. I know you have wandering hands," Tom winked to make you laugh and it of course worked.

"I like him but I don't know if I want to be with him because of his age and the differences we'll have later on if we do decide to get together. Everything is so perfect right now and I don't know if I'm ready but at the same time...I'm so tired. I'm tired of going out and hooking up with random people just to feel something intimate. The only connections I have are you and Harry and I just want something more," you paused, realising how lonely you felt. Tom understood it, the yearning for someone to hold you close and cherish you with every fibre of their being. He knew it was you. You were the only one that he could be open with about anything, it was always you.

*

Bringing up the conversation had to wait. You procrastinated talking to Thomas because you didn't want to lose whatever you two had, you didn't want to change. You were still separated by the Professor/Student obstacle. But one night, about a week after your nice 'slumber party' with Tom, you had a dinner with Thomas. It was in public at this really niche restaurant, it finally felt like a real date.

"Is there a reason why we're here?" You asked with the intention to reveal the relationship. Thomas smiled and brought out a big black flat box.

"We're celebrating. The term is over and exams are soon but I still am no longer your professor," he opened the box the reveal a cute locket necklace with your initials on it.

"Really?" You grinned, both at the sweet present at the news that you don't really have to hide anymore.

"Yes, we are no longer...you know, being creepy,"

"Yeah," it was like something clicked. Something finally set it in stone, so why weren't you thrilled?


	11. Thinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that the relationship has been established, you get cold feet.

"Stop tonguing your cheek, it's creepy," Tom threw some crisps at you.

"I bit my cheek the other day and it feels weird," you went back to feeling the inside of your mouth.

"Don't dirty it up with your tongue then," Tom told you. So you replied by licking his face, to you: a fantastic idea, to him: a disgusting action. "Ugh! How are you a human being?!" He wiped his cheek.

"I hardly am," you spoke through laughter, "you taste weird," you clicked your tongue to get rid of the chemical flavour.

"It's probably the cologne," Tom was at the kitchen sink washing his face.

"CR7?"

"How do you know how Ronaldo tastes?" He entered the room again.

"I have a good palette," you shrugged.

"Yeah for fried potato," Tom stole the crisp you were carrying and ate it.

"So why are you wearing that? Going out?"

"Yeah with Harrison. Boys night-"

"Lads, lads, lads, lads," you pumped your fist mockingly.

"What are you doing tonight? Seeing Thomas?" Tom still wasn't thrilled about your official status as a taken woman.

"Um, maybe. Kind of want to just lay in my filth for another few hours," you responded. Tom has seen this behaviour before, the avoiding, the unhygienic environment, you were going to break up with him. Tom sat by you with a concerned expression on his face.

"What's going on?" He asked softly. You didn't answer, "come on, I know you're avoiding him. You haven't been out of the house in a week, you've hardly been on your phone...what's changed?" Oh no, your eye started tearing up but you held it together.

"I don't know. I think it was the novelty of it all. Professor student relationship. He's...he's not old," you didn't want to say Tom was right, "we just don't match," you admitted.  
Tom gave you a little hug.

"Come-on, have a shower. You stink,"

"I don't stink I'm just ripe-oop no I stink," you smelled your shirt. Tom smiled you, even though you looked like you'd slept in the woods for a week, you were still gorgeous.

"Make sure you talk to him face to face," Tom knew your habit of just disappearing on certain lovers. But this was an actual relationship, you wouldn't just leave. Your time with Thomas was nice and exciting at times but you really put him on a pedestal when he was your professor.

*

Thomas prepared dinner for you that night, quite late at 10pm. You just showed up out of nowhere but he was happy to see you. "I'm glad you're here, I was worried about you, you weren't answering my calls," he served you and planted a peck on your lips. He smelled so nice.

"I'm sorry I think I'm going through a...a thing right now," you scratched your neck nervously. This was it. You had to end things.

"A thing?" He sat and poured you a glass of wine, "are you alright?"

"I...I don't know,"

"Well I've got some news that might cheer you up," Thomas got up and went to the kitchen, coming back to hand you theatre tickets, "editing is finished. We've got our premiere in a few weeks," his grin made you grin, "would you do me the honour of being my lovely date?"

*

"He asked so nicely! And he was really excited!" You defended yourself to Tom.

"Tell me you didn't sleep with him," Tom begged but groaned when you stayed silent, "you're a rollercoaster!"

"I know! I know! We just have to stay together for another few weeks and then I'll be ready. And who's to say we have to break up anyway?"

"You!" Tom pointed, "you don't love him, he doesn't love you. Why are you still doing this to yourselves?!"

"What?"

"I said why are you-"

"No. You said he didn't love me," that hurt. Bad. Tom could tell, he regretted ever opening his mouth now. Huh. Maybe you did love him, "how would you know something like that?" You paced towards the nervous man.

"You know...body language and stuff," he shrugged and folded his arms.

"Tom did he say something to you?" He avoided eye contact, "Holland," you warned.

"We had a chat the other day," he admitted, never one for keeping a secret, "he just kept saying that he liked you a lot but.."

"But what?"

"Doesn't see your relationship going elsewhere," Tom got quiet.

"Okay,"

"Okay?" Tom was confused. You're never this calm with information that heavy, you're a total stress-head.

"Yeah. If he doesn't want me in his future, I guess I don't want him in mine either," you paused, "I'll do it tonight. I have to end it."

And you did. Turns out it was quite easy. A very mutual and mature decision. You two agreed to see each other at the premiere but Tom was going to be your date, not him.

"I hope you get him. One day," Thomas wished you on your way out.

"I'm sorry?"

"Tom. You two are very in love. And I mean that in the nicest way, not a petty ex-boyfriend insult. He loves you. If you were going to open yourself up to anyone...I think he's the one," Thomas tried being nonchalant about this very serious topic but part of him really wanted to cry.

"Don't date anymore students. It's creepy and you're gonna get sacked," you offered your two cents, which made him smile.

"Good advice. I'll see you soon,"

"Bye," you closed the door.


	12. Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> night of the premiere and all sorts of feels pop up

"Officially a free woman," you put your keys on the coffee table.

"Really?"

"Yeah," you confirmed and cuddled up to Tom on the couch, "it went well. He made realise some stuff."

"Like what?" Like that you love your best friend more than you know and he loves you back. You still didn't want to risk it.

"Just life, man."

"Ah, I see. Advice from the elderly."

"He's not old!" you defended the age difference, "but yes. Now that we're split, I do need a date to the premiere.." you trailed off knowing he was going to agree to go with you.

"Sorry babe, I've actually got a date-well I'm asking this girl I'm seeing,"

"You're seeing a girl?" you knew Thomas had to be lying, there's no way Tom would love you.

"Yeah,"

"What's her name? What does she look like?" those questions came out a bit strong.

"Alright Mum, calm down. Her name's Amelia, she has...strawberry blonde hair and green eyes. She's very sweet and things are new so don't...be...yourself,"

"How dare you?" you pretended to be offended, "Nah, I get it" you had a habit of being too chummy with Tom to the point where it made his girlfriends uncomfortable. You didn't realise you were doing it though, so you've stepped back in recent years. "So how did you meet?" you brought out your phone to search her up.

"We met on my boys night with Harrison. He was pretty distracted by someone else so I didn't technically ditch him," Tom explained. You were trying to find her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram but no such luck, "she doesn't have any social media so don't even try. I'm sure you'll meet her soon."

"She doesn't know I exist, does she?"

"You're really intuitive."

*

You never got to meet this Amelia, Tom said she was going to the premiere so you'd meet her then. Tom was picking her up so you'd have to drive yourself there. The past few weeks have been pretty depressing, Tom was out a lot so you often ate alone. That's how you felt for most of the time; alone. You were tempted to message Thomas again for some company and met up once.

"Are you okay? I haven't heard from you in a while," Thomas showed up at your door, the night before the premiere. Tom was staying the night at Amelia's so you were home alone. You had a few glasses of wine in you so Thomas looked especially scrumptious tonight.

"Hey! How are you? Come inside it's freezing," you let him in. Thomas really was concerned about you and to say he hadn't been thinking about you a lot since the break up would be a lie. Every day he saw something that reminded him of you or he forgot that he was alone in his flat and kept looking around for someone to talk to. He didn't realise how hard he fell for you until it was too late. He drank quite a bit, you managed to catch him on a sober night, "I'm fine, I'm just..." you had to think of something quick before he grew concerned, but he was already concerned. When you didn't continue he chose to speak.

"Right. Tom here?" he took off his coat and shoes so he didn't get any mud in the house.

"Nah he's at his girlfriend's," your tone changed to depressed.

"Girlfriend? That's new,"

"Yeah, she'll be coming to the film tomorrow," you fell onto the couch and slouched back, Thomas sat by your feet, instinctively massaging them on his lap.

"And how do you feel about that?"

You took a deep breath in, enjoying the relief he brought you, "I'm alright. I'm glad he's happy,"

"So why are you drinking alone in your pyjamas? Talking to your ex?" Thomas asked. You looked down in shame, you knew why.

"I guess I'm a little upset," you admitted with a nervous chuckle, "I guess what you said about him...liking me, really struck a chord and it made me," you took a pause, trying to find the right words with your cloudy brain, "think! It made me think about...stuff! You know?"

"I-" Thomas shrugged. You took another sip of your drink and put the wine glass on the coffee table.

"And I still don't know what the fuck is going on! Like, I'm so happy that he's found someone to date but.. why isn't it me? What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you, love," Thomas replied, his yearning for you coming into play the longer he touched you. You rearranged yourself so you were mere inches away.

"I'm sorry I called you. I know I shouldn't have," your gaze dropped to his soft smile. The way he quickly wet his lips with his tongue looked so inviting.

"I know I shouldn't have come," Thomas bit the inside of his cheek, staring into your captivating eyes. He missed your time together, he really thought you'd last. Maybe this was his chance. If Holland had truly moved on from you, there's no harm in reconciling the relationship. Right?

"No, no don't-don't think like that," you cupped his gorgeous jawline. He looked a little scruffy so you played with his beard hairs while you talked, "I miss you, and I was afraid of what I felt for you. I think that's why I took an exit," you gulped, "and I'm sorry I'm telling you now. I know it's too late," you let your hand trail down his chest, planning to let go. Thomas stopped it and held your hand tight.

"I miss you. I took you for granted and I apologise for that. If I had one wish, it would be for you to be happy. So tell me, what would it take for you to be?"

You were a little shocked but smiling. He does want you. To say you leaned in for a kiss was an understatement, you leapt onto Thomas like a hungry wolf, "Just for tonight," you cleared up. Tom nodded. He loved having you on top of him, feeling your every curve as you pressed onto him. That night was full of passion. Something you both needed.

*

The premiere of the film was the next night. Nothing fancy happened, it was just a short film festival with local news doing some interviews. You had been talking to a journalism student writing a column about the movie for the school's newspaper.

"How was Thomas as a director?"

"So nice, very straightforward and creative thinker. Really hands on, which is what I needed for something like this but also let us improvise a bit, which was fun," you responded, thinking about the night before. You didn't necessarily regret what happened but you knew that alcohol caused it. And you didn't feel too good about that.

"Oh, you're too kind!" Thomas' hand touched your waist and you jolted at the electricity. Thomas had felt the same way you did. Although he was sober when it happened. He had left in the morning after a short chat about the previous night.

*

" _Do you remember_ -"

" _Of course I do," you replied with uncertainty. Something that Thomas picked up on._

 _"...well I better get going. I'll see you at the festival tonight," he got out of bed and grabbed his clothes_.

" _Absolutely," you replied. Holy shit, why is everything so awkward? Thomas planted a kiss on your cheek. It comforted you. This really is the end of the relationship._

_"I'll see you,"_

_"Bye,"_  
*

"Thomas, how well do think your leading lady played the part?"

"I thought she was phenomenal! My perfect Lottie!" 

"Can you give us a little synopsis?" the interviewer asked. Tom took the lead on this one so you snuck away to get inside but stopped when you saw your roommate. He cleaned up really well and it shocked you so much that you had to take a moment to process this look.

"Hey! Don't you look fancy," Tom spotted you and gave a hello kiss on the cheek.

"So do you! The last time I saw you in a suit was our school ball," you fixed his collar, "where's your lady then?" you looked past him.

"Oh right, darling!" oof, that hurt more than expected. A woman about Tom's height greeted you with a polite smile, "this is Y/N, she's a friend of mine and the leading lady," her eyes lit up, not in pleasure more in envy. She knew Tom was playing your love interest and wasn't fond of it.

"Nice to meet you," you put on a grin, "Tom never lets me meet his girlfriends,"

"Because you're overly affectionate," Tom spoke through gritted.

"To him or the girls?" she joked.

"We'll see," you winked back. Another local newspaper wanted an interview with you and Tom so Amelia stood back. Tom had had his hand on your back, he meant it as a huddle but noticed that he was actually gripping your waist the more the interviewer continued to talk about how beautiful you were.

"I heard there's a sex scene, how did you control yourself?" the man asked Tom, who didn't know how to answer. He was grateful that you stepped in.

"Lots of vodka," you answered, "one time Tom drank a little too much and ended up with such a pale face. He felt so sick he ended up running to the bathroom in his little nude undies, that was such a good day,"

"I won't be forgetting about it anytime soon," Tom chuckled nervously.

"Now just before you go in, is it true that you and the director had a little romance on set?" the man's question stumped you. No one was supposed to know, no one was supposed to find out. Both you and Tom frowned, you pretended it was confusion. He knew it was something else.

"I'm sorry? Who said that?" you played it off, "I mean I'm flattered but," you shrugged, "no," lying was different from acting. Acting required being someone else, you get into a different mindset and prepare whereas right now you were sweating heavily from your armpits and trying to avoid eye contact.

"That's so ridiculous- come on," Tom dragged you away from the seedy journalist, "side note, I may have told Amelia that you were dating your Professor," Tom spoke low. Your jaw clenched in anger but you smiled brilliantly for the photos being taken.

"You're dead," you laughed through your teeth.

*

Your film was third, just before the intermission. It was a lot bleaker than you thought it would be. Thomas sat beside you, he was nervously bouncing his leg but a slight touch from you calmed him. Amelia saw this and frowned, she thought you two had broken up. It's true that she blabbered a bit to her friends about you but she does regret it. Mainly because Tom wasn't talking to her now. They had a mini fight just before the first film began.

"Did you tell the local news that my best friend and her professor were dating?"

"No of course not...I may have told Bridget and Daniel though and they have a cousin that works in the paper," Tom buried his head in his hands, messing his hair up.

"She's going to kill me! Why did you do that? I trusted you with that information," albeit, Tom was drunk when he told her.

"I'm sorry. Wait, I thought Harrison was your best friend,"

"She is too. She's also my roommate,"

"Excuse me?" Amelia crossed her arms.

"I was going to tell you-" Tom started but never finished. Amelia felt uncomfortable, so did he. Suddenly their relationship changed. They didn't know each other well enough and didn't feel strong enough feelings to be bothered to stay.   
  


"Don't call me," Amelia left. Tom returned and sat next to you, a little sad but he didn't know what at. The breakup or the fact that you were furious with him.

 "Where's Amelia?" you asked. Tom gulped and you sensed something was wrong.

"She's gone. Won't be seeing her anymore," he shrugged and received a handhold from you. 

It was beautifully edited, it hardly seemed like a short film at all. There was some footage in there that made you uncomfortable just because it reminded you of the actual filming process. You really liked your scenes with Tom's character and wondered if the film took a different direction than you originally thought. You expected Lottie to end up with Ben and turn into a cycle- the message being that people don't really change. But Thomas changed his mind, he gave Ben a girlfriend and Lottie spotted them from a distance at a park. You remembered the scene, you were supposed to go up and rekindle things but Thomas just cut a montage of the happy times together. 

Some were bits filmed professionally but some were just iPhone camera bits of you and Tom hanging out and one home video moment from your school ball. Tom was staring at you while you were talking to your Mum, just smiling softly. You began to tear up and looked to Thomas who smiled softly at you. The next cut was you gazing longingly at him just at the park, followed by happy bed shots and some weird best friend moments. The scene ended with you walking away with your head down. You remembered shooting that but didn't think anything of it. 

You felt a burning in your throat and tried swallowing that lump down so you didn't sob. People clapped when it finished as they did for the other films and started emptying the little theatre. You let a few tears out.

"That was beautiful," you smiled and hugged Thomas. "I'm just going to go freshen up," you sniffed once again.

"Y/N," Thomas stopped you and looked at Tom behind you, he shed a tear or two as well, "Hold fast...and don't let go," that's when you felt Tom's hug from behind. Thomas let go of you and walked away. You turned to Tom and hugged him tighter than you ever have before.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I know,"

"Oh don't do Star Wars-"

"I love you too," you laughed quietly.


End file.
